And you thought the Maccas run during lockdown was a bit desperate ... think again.
A man has been taken into police custody in New Zealand after allegedly escaping an Auckland isolation facility by "climbing out of a fourth storey window and down a makeshift rope of bedsheets".
Yes. A makeshift rope of bedsheets. Just like the movies.
The man had been deported from Australia and had spent 12 days in managed isolation, testing negative for COVID-19 twice.
It's only fair to quote head of managed isolation and quarantine Air Commodore Darryn Webb (please enjoy his turn of phrase): "While this person's exact movements are still being determined, immediate inquiries were conducted in the vicinity, which have not established any particular businesses or properties entered by the abscondee at this point.
"The police investigation is at an early stage, and initial indications are that this person has absconded by exiting via a fourth storey window and climbing down a makeshift rope, which is clearly an extremely dangerous act."
It's not all bedknobs and broomsticks though as Victoria's hotel quarantine inquiry wound up with closing submissions today. A final report is due out on November 6.
Deputy PM Michael McCormack led the chorus of pollies' voices telling the nation it's time to wind down financial support introduced especially to cope with the pandemic.
No surprise that also today the National Debt Helpline said it was expecting a surge in calls to the service in coming months due to the rate of JobKeeker being reduced and mortgage deferral schemes coming to an end.
In other news today, the operator of Australia's Dreamworld theme park has been fined A$3.6m over the deaths of four people on a malfunctioning water ride in 2016.
The company's chief executive John Osborne said: "Ardent accepts responsibility for this tragedy, and we fully accept the consequences."
The consequences have more than an economic impact for the victim's families. Kim Dorsett, the mother of two victims, said she cries for her children every day and when she wakes she is disappointed. "I have to have another day in this hell."
These are very weird and very trying times - for everyone. There's help if you need it. Call Lifeline 13 11 14 or beyondblue 1300 22 4636.
News you need to know
- Dreamworld fined $3.6m over ride tragedy
- New Victorian COVID-19 cases drops to single digits
- Beached whale discovered on King Island near Tasmania
- 'Weak positive' result to coronavirus in the Territory
- Bystanders vital after crash kills 16-year-old, hospitalises two
- Zero cases for second day, but NSW residents urged to get tested
- 'Calm before the storm': Surge in calls to debt helpline expected
- A firefighter's death, an anonymous call to police, and a $350,000 reward